The Green Light

The mysterious green light. This is some kind of signal or sign that is different to each person. it's something people look for or use to indicate it is time to make a move. the reason why i'm writing about this green light, is because i wonder if mine is always on. wth?

The green light may be a smile, or eye contact or some body movement a woman does to indicate to a man that is okay to spit the line he spent the last 3 minutes getting together for you. Men say it's a look a woman gives when she's interested. Men have told me that i gave them this so-called look. um, i don't think so. maybe you are interpreting my cordiality for this supposed sign. i try to be nice and respectful. especially in a day and time when women (esp black women) act so ugly to our men. when i see a man (whether he is obviously flirting or not) and he's being nice and polite, i am nice and polite as well. this is not a green light. we'll talk about this later.

the next green light sign i think people look for is that, i-can't-wait-to-spill-my-guts-to-this-nice-stranger sign. as i get older and have been plagued with the malfunctioning green light syndrome, i believe i'm getting a handle on it. when i'm in line at the grocery store, or at the car wash, or pumping gas, i have the tendency to smile and acknowledge a person next to me or just to acknowledge that i notice they are staring or glancing at me. i am hardly an ass hole. that nod or glance or shy smile is the elderly, the eager and the wanna-be-comedian's greenlight sometimes.

the next thing i know, i am holding an awkwardly long conversation with a person about things i either don't care about, or wish i didn't have to listen to. why do people do this.

this is why people fail to make eye contact with others, or just come off as rude. they are avoiding this.

how many times have you gone to handle some business and left with a person's whole life story, when you just met them an hour ago? people, that is AWKWARD! if you find that you are the only person speaking in a conversation with someone who is nodding and smiling politely, it's not really a conversation. you are talking and the other person is being polite.

if i don't know you, i am not interested in your ailments, your marriage, your trouble with your in-laws, your daughter's baby's daddy that you hate, the number of medications you take, the time someone swindled you out of money, your neighbors or ANY things like that.

why do people strike up long conversations in an inappropriate environment? a party, the club, the gas station, the bank...these are places where a conversation more than 30 seconds is probably too long. anything more, you would be holding someone up and putting them in a situation where they will be losing time, or having to cut you off and be rude.

ex 1: i realized i am getting good at turning my green light off when i was in court this week. a 30-something black lady with snow boots on and black cherry cola hair kept staring at me trying to get me to make eye contact. i waited until she stopped looking and looked at her to make sure i didn't know her from somewhere. when i assessed that i didn't know her. i wondered why she kept staring. then i accidentally made eye contact with her. her mouth was partially open and she had the energy like she wanted to say something but was waiting on THE GREEN LIGHT. i immediately turned away (people in court are not usually in a good mood, and i am either cursing in my mind or trying to meditate if i'm there). she eventually got THE GREEN LIGHT from someone else and began telling them all about why she was in court. which was the main thing she probably wanted to do to me. *patting myself on the back*

ex 2: i work in a call center doing tech sppt. when people call me with software questions, the calls can get pretty long. naturally, customers strike up conversations to fill in the empty space. (they are distracting me from whatever video game i'm playing, whatever magazine or book i'm reading, or whatever quick nap i am trying to take, lol). why do people think this is a good time to discuss the inventions they are working on? step by step? really? so when it is time to actually wrap up the call, i'm waiting on you to finish a story that you are not even half-way finished with....awkward.

Some people try to force your green light on by asking open ended questions. sigh* i try to be sensitive with this. i sometimes see my classmates from school years ago, i ask questions like, "are you doing okay?" that is a yes or no question. if they respond with one word answers, that usually means the green light is not on. understand? if i am vague when you ask me how i've been? or i say "great!" but you see i am visibly ill, or not doing well, or we are someplace like the foodstamp office or at a child support hearing......yeah, just leave it alone and hope to see the person at another time.

signing off!

Buh-bye